Reverse Therapy for CFS/ME/FM

My experiences with Mickel Reverse Therapy.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Week 4 - what do I want to do?

The main Mickel Reverse Therapy (RT) process is to wait for the symptoms, read the message (a feeling), and then stay with that feeling, not trying to be analytical, and sensing what would be the best action for one to do. Unfortunately with nearly all of the situations which I noted in my exercise book that give rise to symptoms I didn't have any obvious or even semi-obvious actions to take, and if there were actions, they were impossible because I was ill!

As it turns out, my therapist reckons, and I agree, that most of my symptoms/messages are 'background' symptoms, because I get them (fuzzy head/achy body) whatever I do - a by product of Hypothalamitis, and that there must be something(s) generally in my life, which my body/true self is unhappy about. My task now is to work out what that is, I have inklings, but its difficult. As I'm terribly analytical, my heart speaks, and my mind jumps in a millisecond later, I've got to try and trust my heart and see where it takes me. Something for me, which is very scary.

The therapist did suggest that an area to look at is what was going on in my life before I became ill. The most obvious factor was my unhappiness, or itchy feet, with my career. I was ok with it, but I didn't want to progress any further with it, it was comfortable and I stuck with it, when perhaps, my true self didn't want to, and the little ol' mind was saying 'yes, but just stick with it, things could be worse'. In fact prior to becoming ill I was doing lots more thinking about career changes reading What Colour is Your Parachute etc, whilst being afraid of making a mistake, of taking a risk (something which I realise I rarely do - everything must be calculated and as safe a decision as possible!). I had even started to do some voluntary work in the sector I was interested in, but it was too late, I became ill a few days before the training.

So great, that's what I need to do, change career - easier said than done for someone just holding down part time work. However, the therapist helped me look at my position with less black & white thinking. Less "I'm ill, I can't do that" and more "I'll try that, it may help me improve". With this in mind I'm exploring the option of taking a part time Open University course. It'll be tough, no doubt, but it is within the realms of possibility for me to fit it in. Other things in my life will have to slide away, I wound have to spend less time on one of my favourite hobbies and perhaps less time fiddling around on the web! If I try the course for a year and it helps then that's great, if I try it and I can't do it then hey, I can say I tried to do what I thought, or even felt, was the best thing for me, and I'll try something else next, whatever that may be. The theory (hope) is that the body/true self will see that I am listening to it again, and in doing so the body will lessen the messages (symptoms) to me.

I'll leave you with a good quote from my therapist:
"Now progress gradually with the things you want to be doing that lead to a fulfilling life."


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