Reverse Therapy for CFS/ME/FM

My experiences with Mickel Reverse Therapy.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Week 11 - Starting to actually understand the process

David commented on my weeks worth of MRT diary which proved to be very helpful. I've leant some important and yet very subtle aspects of MRT which I've already noticed has helped me to get closer to the aim of writing the MRT diary. Its probably easiest if I explain the process as how I do it:

1) Practice mindfulness of my emotions and my symptoms and any correlation between the two - I'm now (most of the time) able to spot exactly when my fuzzy head increases and then I look into myself, and most importantly, without analysis or head work, I gauge how I was feeling a moment before the fuzz increased. When it seems that I know what I'm feeling, I start again, letting go of my ever so analytical mind, until I can feel how I'm feeling.

2) Try and feel what how my true self would have preferred the situation to have gone. Do this a few times until a situation makes sense or 'resonates'.

3) Do what I feel my true self wants (if I can).

4) Note if the symptoms changed.

The big hurdles I'm coming across is that usually I'm unable to do what my trueself wants, however, in my weeks worth of MRT notes this could have been down to me getting the wrong emotion to start with. However, I've been practicing what I've learnt recently and still there are things which I'm really not sure what to do about. I'm hoping that David will be able to answer these questions as he has done my last section of MRT diary.

This is a difficult process, but its possible and it has certainly helped me in finding out more about my emotional self - much more than any other methods I have tried in the past, weather that be meditation, person-centred therapy or thinking about emotions and where they are going and coming from. Even if MRT doesn't cure me of CFS, I have learnt a lot about ingrained patterns of emotions and possibly how to start to address those.

Talking of the effect of MRT, I have noticed over the last week a slight, but noticeable increase in physical energy. This may be a 'blip' which I've had before, this maybe due to the nice weather, or, just perhaps (I hope) this is down to the correct practice of MRT. I still practice the 'energy bank' ethos, even if I have more energy I never withdraw it all, always having some in reserve - this way if life happens to me and I need to expend some extra energy for some reason I don't end up doing myself an injustice and wiping myself out for a few days. There's a great story of this method written by a Lupus suffer. However I learnt the method from Better Recovery From Viral Illnesses which is a great book on pacing, even though it doesn't call the process pacing.

I do believe in continuing my usual CFS management whilst doing MRT. As my symptoms hopefully dissipate I'll then slowly try and do more. In my experience with my local MRT therapist and the experience of a reader of this blog working with a RT practitioner, this isn't exactly how MRT/RT recommends what a sufferer does, probably because they advocate not being scared of trying things the sufferer haven't done for ages. However I believe that as the sufferer is being very body aware because of the process within therapy, they should be able to decide for themselves what is and isn't possible. I'm sure that the body needs time to adjust to the fact that it is being listened to again. Therefore, I'm currently practicing a mix of the usual CFS management and the reverse therapy approach.

I know I've still yet to learn the MRT practice fully as within my MRT diary there are many unanswered questions. Here's hoping I can learn and that the knowledge helps me.

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